Coming back to prayer

What I learned from reading my own book

I’ve had a strange relationship with prayer since selling Val Marie Paper. During that season, we were knee-deep in mold remediation, moving back into our house, trying to heal my body, starting homeschool, and adjusting to life post-VMP.

I took the pressure off in a lot of areas of my life that I noticed had added to the stress and my health. And to be honest, I think consistent prayer journaling or reading about prayer got lumped in.

I had used my journal less, and was feeling the effects of it! I’ve always said one of the quickest ways to find motivation for prayer is to read about prayer. And over my 11 years talking about prayer, I had read more than 40 books on the topic, so I was constantly reminded of how powerful it is. I had no idea how much encouraging others in their prayer life in such a consistent way through Val Marie Paper helped ME stay consistent.

But as I settled into a season of “taking the pressure off”, my prayers grew stagnant. I was still praying, but not with the same passion and conviction. And not as specifically with my prayer journal.

So recently, I recommitted to daily time in my prayer journal. Also, I decided to listen to my book Pray Confidently and Consistently, and it’s hitting me like I never even wrote this thing. It’s so trippy to listen to my own voice reading words I forgot I had written. I had never listened to the audio version, but it’s been such an easy but powerful listen. (I speed up to 1.5 because even I can’t believe how slow I sound at 1 speed). I highly recommend listening to it for free through Spotify (if you have a paid account, LOTS of books are free!!) and getting the hardcopy for highlighting. I had to jot down notes on my phone and then find the full quotes to reference after.

Here were some of my takeaways from this most recent read-through:

BIG AND SMALL THINGS

“The big things we hold back reveal what we’re too scared not to control. The small things we hold back reveal what we don’t think God could use anyway. Keeping hold of anything won’t serve us or our prayer lives.”

WHY COMPLETE SURRENDER IS NECESSARY

“Sometimes we’re holding on to our one thing so tightly that it almost feels as if it’s keeping us safe—like we trust it instead of God. Remember the story of Peter walking on water when Jesus called to him (see Matthew 14:22-33)? Imagine that you’re in a boat and God is asking you to step out and walk to him. You’re leaning over the edge, telling God you trust him, but you’ve got five life preservers attached to you. When you lean forward, your trust is in the five preservers, not in the invisible God. Then imagine telling God, Look, I’ll remove all the life preservers and just keep this one. Isn’t it better than if I’d kept all five? I just want to keep this one tiny thing. It’s no big deal! I mean, it can barely hold me. I’m really having to rely on you anyway, God. What does it hurt? Having one life preserver instead of five might look better, but the reality is we’ve just sunk a lot of trust into that one we kept around.”

THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T GET TO KNOW EVERYTHING

“If you’re waiting for your whole path to be lit up with runway lights, you’ll be waiting as long as my old crush from college waited to find the right woman. We know God doesn’t light the entire path. We get just the next step. Know why I think that is? Because imagine how silly it would be if you asked for directions and some kind sir gave you a detailed map, telling you about all the twists and turns and mile markers. Then as you thanked him and started to leave, he said, ‘Wait, I’m coming with you.’ Wouldn’t your reaction be, ‘Well, then, why did you give me all those directions if you’re going to guide me personally?’

Doesn’t it make more sense that we don’t get the full story? The journey is intended to be walked with our guide. When we don’t prioritize prayer and an intimate relationship with the Lord, it’s like we’re telling God we can go this road on our own with just a few instructions from him. What gives us such confidence? We don’t have the map. We don’t know the roads. We need God. That’s always been true, but we forget it often.”

WAITING FOR THE SPARK

“It’s easy to see our prayer lives the way we see romance through the eyes of a rom-com. We have an expectation that romance will be a series of impromptu run-ins where everything eventually falls into place. My favorite rom-com is When Harry Met Sally. As a former journalist myself who hoped to marry her best friend¹, it checked all the right boxes. Every five years or so, the protagonists ran into each other, and after several of these chance encounters, they eventually fell in love. Can you imagine if the storyline were that every few years they would meet, check their calendars, and pencil in their next rendezvous for five years down the road? Where’s the fun in that?

We love the rush of an unexpected rendezvous that changes our lives, and I think we expect the same of our relationship with God. We think we should only pray when we want to. Otherwise, aren’t we just kind of faking it? I really don’t think so.

A mom still has to change diapers even though she doesn’t love to do it.

A writer still has to write to make a deadline, even if he or she doesn’t feel like it.

A good athlete finishes the game or the race, even when there’s no longer a chance of winning.

And if anything, when we stick to something after the honeymoon phase wears off, we are deepening our affections. We are no longer choosing it just because it makes us feel good. We are acting out of faithfulness and commitment.”

BIG PRAYERS

“I read the story of a man who went to Russia for a month because he felt God leading him to pray. He told his friend, ‘I’m to pray that God will shake all of Russia. I’ll ask Him to use current events—whatever they are—to shake what can be shaken, so doors will be open to the Gospel and believers will have new freedom to worship.’ He prayed for thirty-one days, and the day after he left, the nuclear power plant explosion at Chernobyl happened. This event, while horribly devastating, also brought a spark of hope. Since the increased radiation levels were detectable all the way in Sweden, the Russian government was unable to keep the event a secret. It forced ‘glasnost,’ or openness, and became a turning point in bringing freedom to the people of the USSR. Just two years later, laws about religious freedom in Russia started changing.”

WHY PRAYER FEELS BORING

“Maybe the reason prayer feels boring sometimes is because we’ve only used the words we already know to say.

How amazing is it that we can read words of other pray-ers, words that we would not only never instinctively think of on our own but and also maybe wouldn’t be able to fathom because our faith isn’t big enough yet? Think about reading Jesus’ prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane. I’ve already mentioned how his words “Not my will but yours be done” hold so much power because I want to say them with confidence. But truth be told, they wouldn’t naturally flow from my human heart had I not read Jesus saying them. Reading prayers from more mature believers can shift so much in our hearts. It can add a depth and breadth to our prayers that goes way beyond the few things we normally pray about and the shallower way we ask for them.”

Also, this is one reason I wrote my book of prayers, Springboard Prayers. ;)

SILENCE

“If our comfort level is the main factor in how long we pray, we absolutely won’t experience the fruit that’s possible in our prayer lives. The good news is that making room for God doesn’t require us to do more. It requires us to be okay with doing less—and to be okay with the awkwardness of silence or the itch we feel when we want to add noise to our day. Our enemy wants to make us uncomfortable with silence because he knows how effective it silence can be.”

SURVEY THE LAND

“If we are looking for God to speak in one specific way, we’ll likely think he’s staying silent, and we will put off prayer. Instead of expecting a specific response, we must survey the land. We need to take time to look for God in all areas of life, not just the one area we’re waiting for him to move in. Many times, where he is working is not the predictable spot we expect him to be. …

Survey the land of your life. Where is God moving that you didn’t expect? What have you chalked up to coincidence or something that “would have happened anyway” that might have been God speaking to you? What is God doing in one spot while you’ve had your eyes peeled in the other direction? What nuances are you seeing only because you’re looking for them?

Pray. Ask God to show these things to you, and don’t get up so fast that you miss them.”

WHAT SURPRISED ME MOST

As I was rereading Pray Confidently and Consistently, I added it to my Goodreads and peeked at the reviews, something I honestly haven’t done in years.

The glass-half-empty part of my soul assumed if I looked I’d find a bunch of 2-star reviews and potshots at my Southern vernacular². Instead, I was BLOWN away by your reviews. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Reading them was like liquid courage to share with you guys right now that if you’re struggling with prayer, please give this book a try. I’d love for it to help you like it’s helped me and others.

And if you are looking for a prayer journal that feels approachable, organized, and life-transforming, Val Marie Paper is having its big launch for 2027 prayer journals. They’re 20% off right now! Go check them out of you want to invest in your prayer life (who wouldn’t?).

Here’s a peek!!

1. And did!

2. Which has happened. ;)