What does our lateness say about us?
The answer will surprise you
Lately, we’ve been diving into all the things that reduce stress in our lives. Let’s just say art imitates life, and your girl has been learning how to handle stress in a healthier way. For me, that means three things:
Preventing it in the first place.
Recognizing it in the moment so I cut off the stress response.
Noticing when I am stressed and properly regulating it.
Over the last two weeks, we’ve covered two ways to prevent stress. We talked about asking if our lives are too full and if we’re creating our own misery with an unattainable hunger for more.
Today, we’re getting hyper-practical and going to talk about being late. If you’re the punctual friend and about to send a virtual elbow to your late friend, you may want to hold off until the end.
I hope this will result in less stress in your life. But before we dive into how to “fix” being late all the time and why it’s important, let’s start somewhere unexpected—the reasons for being late that might actually highlight your best qualities.
THE VIRTUES OF BEING LATE
1. A chronically late may reveal someone's optimism.
I mean, isn’t that part of it? When you’ve driven somewhere in 10 minutes, even though most days it takes 15, you may think all that’s needed is 10 minutes to get there. The pessimists and the realists latch onto the worst-case scenario. So if you’re like me and naturally a pessimistic person but you’re late because you think the best of times, take a minute to remind yourself, look I can be optimistic about something! 😂
2. A chronically late person doesn’t want to waste time.
Seeing a 20-minute gap in their schedule can feel like the perfect place to insert that extra task. It feels efficient and frugal. The part of someone who turns the water off while brushing their teeth or takes home even the smallest leftovers from the restaurant is the same part that sees time and wants to use it well.
3. A chronically late person might feel comfortable with whoever is waiting.
Ok, this might sound strange, but if I’m late for my sister or mom, I don’t feel super stressed because I know they love me no matter what and me being late doesn’t damage that. Being late may speak to someone’s security and level of comfort with you. If you’re on the receiving end of someone’s lateness and squirming (or seething) as you read this, I’m going to get to some helpful tips, I promise. I’m just probably a little later than you’d like. 😜
4. A chronically late person might let their heart to serve overbook their schedule.
If you’re late because you’re booked up all day volunteering at your kid’s school, bringing dinner to a sick friend, and checking on your grandparents, all while raising four kids, ya might be late to things. You don’t need a lecture from me on overfilling your schedule (you already got one two weeks ago, right here 😁), but suffice to say, though choices need to be made, I see your heart to serve as many people as possible!
5. A chronically late person might be a finisher.
Are you a few minutes late but notice the clothes are sitting in the washing machine, ready to go in the dryer? You don’t want to return to stinky clothes, so take the time to finish the task. Or maybe you checked 4 out of the 5 things off your list, and if you could leave 10 minutes later than planned, you’d get to call it perfectly complete. It’s hard for many of us to leave the open loops when they are soooo close to being closed.
Now that I’ve sufficiently pumped you up and reminded you that you aren’t a terrible person for being chronically late, I need to drop the hammer on us.
Even though our tardiness may come from a good place, it has consequences that we may not even realize.